i just run a wireguard on my VPS and set up clients using a handy script that spits out a QR code i can scan with my phone, or for a pc, just c&p the short little file across to it and voila, instant VPN, and not just a VPN but one that routes traffic between my several clients

this is how i run my relay-in-development and test it with regular nostr clients, using a reverse proxy to connect using WG to my machine, it's super simple, cheap VPS, wireguard, and a domain name, and you can do the same thing

it comes down to performance, control and robustness. running pfsense or opnsense on the firewall + vpn and openwrt on the open source router.

i prefer the ability to control and disable wifi at will, especially if a client's threat model calls for ports activate without vpn for services that don't play nicely with vpn (streaming, gaming, banking etc)

having at least one dedicated open source router (as well as a travel router) often gives much better performance.

also, I highly recommend people consider whether they need wireless access at all, but I understand most prefer or need it for quality of life.