Replying to veraveida

For some reason, I can't access that article. So, this response is in reference to the subject and what's been said in the comments.

Why does porn usage have to black and white? I argue it doesn't.

Porn is a tool.

There are both healthy and unhealthy ways of utilizing porn. Porn is a great supplement to but not a replacement for sexual expression. Of course, like with anything, porn usage can be a slippery slope.

While I do think having access to porn in our pockets can be detrimental to one's mental health, that's usually relegated to those with fewer scruples. And maybe they shouldn't be reproducing anyway.

For those that do have the wherewithal, porn can be used as a way to express and discover one's sexuality. This is in addition to sex with a real woman/man, as well as in addition to using imagination to get off.

As a married woman, porn has been one if the ways my husband and I have been able to share fantasies, and get to know each other better ("a picture's worth a thousand words"). We don't always use porn, but it is quite handy on occasion, and reduces the burden of being The Only Object of Sexual Desire for Decades on End (no, I don't think sex is just about the physical act, except when it is).

I'd argue people whom are jealous and can't handle their partner's porn usage--assuming said usage is healthy--have some demons to exorcise. (Again, speaking from experience and having dealt with such issues and demons in the past.)

Anyway, those are my two SATs.

I disagree. There's no exchange of intimacy when consuming porn solo.

Marriage is more than just sex, and sex is more than just an expression of love for another.

Even if they choose to be monogamous, people still find others attractive. Porn allows a sort of sexual freedom to explore those interests and live fully without involving another human intimately--as they might in a polyamorous relationship.

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I guess so.

Where do you draw the line? Is thinking sexually about or getting off to the thought of anyone other than your SO wrong?

Being able to distinguish between fantasy and reality is extremely important.

If someone can't compartmentalize those two things, then they're going to have a real tough time in life.

I can imagine jumping off of a building, or mentally put myself in the shoes of someone being shot. Does that make me suicidal?

If I'm in a bank and envision myself robbing the place, should I be thrown in prison?

Thought crimes are not crimes, they're thoughts. Being able to share thoughts with somebody is vital to our humanity.

Yes, definitely, but in neither case does it make me suicidal.

I might just be a sicko if I enjoy watching those things, but I might just be curious.

Watching a lot of porn may also indicate I need some help. But what it definitely does not indicate is that I'm unfaithful to my wife.

I've seen billions of people die (in movies, whole planets destroyed). Am I a murderer?

I've seen boxers box, am I a boxer?

I've watched people drive cars more than 100 miles an hour, did I speed?

Just today I watched a podcast, am I a podcaster?

I think I see where you're coming from, but there's a lot more nuance to this topic than the black and white way you seem to be painting it.

I just don't think 'porn is bad' is accurate.