Asked myself the same questions. Not a "programmer" in any way 😊.

Started trying out stuff, learning. Set up my own relay and website. Put some key resources that helped me on my website www.hifish.org

Best just trying stuff. We are so early and mistakes are part of the learning curve.

Enjoy 😊

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I followed this relatively easy guide to set up the relay on linux.

https://usenostr.org/relay.html