a) not catholic

b) it's the solstice

c) jesus was born in summer

d) coca cola literally invented santa

e) getting drunk (merry) is part of the summer solstice ritual over most of europe, as is fucking your neighbour's wife

f) charles dickens sickening pityfests were used by politicians to stop the drunken orgy that was european winter solstice festival and started the whole nonsense about giving presents

g) fuck christmas, but it's nice and quiet except for the constant fireworks

h) nothing holy about fucking your neighbour's wife and drinking too much alcohol, or, in modern times, spending too much money, eating too much stupid cake and biscuits and sitting in front of your computer posting pithy platitudes

do you hate me yet?