This is my best understanding of relays in general:

- Think of relays like databases users are reading and writing to constantly. You will only get data (users, posts, likes, etc.) from the relays you are connected to. Similarly, other users will only see your data if they are connected to the same relays as you.

- Choosing relays I'm still struggling with as well. Haven't found a source with info on what the relay's "focus" is to distinguish which one to connect to.

- Depending on your client there should be a "Settings" tab where you can add/remove relays and toggle them on/off.

- Your "Followers" list is just a conglomerate of people you have followed that are running at least 1 relay you share.

- Paid relays allow you access to everyone else that has also paid for access to that relay. This can be valuable in narrowing down your "Global" tab as that is only pulling data from all of the relays you're connected to. So if you're only connected to paid relays you will likely eliminate much of the spam posts as spam accounts likely aren't paying to join paid relays