But monero does not solve any of the problems that Bitcoin was created to solve and that Bitcoin has solved, therefore Monero is useless.

Ask yourself again why Lazarus has preferred to move all Ethereum to Bitcoin and not to Monero.

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Because they needed liquidity over privacy to get away from a mutable chain.

Also because Lazarus is a front for western secret agencies and they never would pump Monero. NK would likely not care.