A terminal illness makes you aware of two things:

1) The clock is ticking. Tomorrow could be your final day. It becomes very hard to relax because your nervous system is effectively redlining subconsciously as your awareness of mortality because heightened.

2) There is no light at the end of the tunnel. The end is demise. There is no “get better” or “progress”. It is a slow countdown, where every day your awareness of mortality becomes acutely more heightened, while the reality kicks in that things will never get better.

I would wish it upon no one. Seeing anyone you love go through it is so heart wrenching. Nearly impossible to reconcile.

Often I put myself in this persons shoes to try to imagine what they feel. Growing up, falling in love, raising a family, retiring. Developing and building your own little empire, creating your own family, all to leave it behind.

Somewhere within that, is the most beautiful element of humanity. The rise and the fall of life. The proliferation of the genome. The inevitability of returning to the source. The cycle continues.

I could harp for hours about this. Just some saturday thoughts for everyone. Have a good day y’all. A lot of love for you people.