"To love someone long-term is to attend a thousand funerals of the people they used to be. The people they're too exhausted to be any longer. The people they grew out of, the people they never ended up growing into. We so badly want the people we love to get their spark back when it burns out, to become speedily found when they are lost.

But it is not our job to hold anyone accountable to the people they used to be. It is our job to travel with them between each version and to honor what emerges along the way. Sometimes it will be an even more luminescent flame. Sometimes it will be a flicker that temporarily floods the room with a perfect and necessary darkness." ~Heidi Priebe #compassion

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Discussion

When I was younger I had this idea called the unicorn theory.

Its core tenant was that when we fall in love with our significant other, we actually fall in love with a unicorn. We fall in love with the instance of a being we could not fathom living our lives without. But that being is as much an imaginary creature as a unicorn because people change. People learn and discover new things that alters the way they interact with the world.

The unicorn theory is the reason so many people divorce or fall out of love. Its the reason why people fight in a relationship. The words, "since when did you..." fill in the blank is when love begins to deteriorate.

The excerpt you posted depicts true love. True love is that willful sacrifice an individual makes to go on that journey of change with someone else.

What a beautiful, heartfelt response. Thank you for sharing your unicorn theory with me and anyone reading this. I wish everyone understood this. Romance programing has warped the average person's notion of a compassionate relationship.

Thank you for the zaps!

Celebrating 20 years Tuesday with a woman who has loved about 10 different “me’s” in that time. Each one more than the last. Despite everything we’ve encountered in this fiat world. No one said it would be easy, just that it would be worth it. And it’s true. A white knuckled ride, but at least we’ve been on it together.

I'm so happy for you! That is wonderful! The world needs more wayshowers like you two 😊