Be me, at restaurant bar with wife, CBS news on the TV

Wife: "Okay so what's the deal with Hunter Biden"

Me: *FIVE MINUTE FACT-LADEN BREAKDOWN OF THE LAPTOP DEBACLE AND THE VARIOUS CHARGES*

Wife: Wow he sounds like a douchebag

Me: *TWO MINITE RANT ABOUT WHAT A DOUCHEBAG HUNTER BIDEN IS*

Bartender: Sir, you can either be quiet or we can cancel your order of pie and ice cream.

Me: ... pie and ice cream please