Me regarding a second charcuterie board …

No thanks 🙂‍↔️ I’m good.

🧀 No really, have some of my cheese.

Me: 👀, I don’t want any of your cheese nor do I want to be asked to eat from your board ever again.

🧀 I’m just trying to be friendly.

Do I come to your house & ask you to eat my cheesecake?

🧀 No.

You know why? It’s mine and special to me and I love it.

🧀 Seems like you’d share something you love so much.

I give everything else to the world. My cheesecake, my rules.

🧀 You’re intolerant.

Absolutely 💯 lactose intolerant. Hence why I’m protective of my body. And space & all things considered… you can go fuck yourself.

🧀 Did I just lose a friend?

Probably the best one you ever had.

🧀 Over cheese? FFS 🤦🏻‍♀️ You’re crazy 🤪

True. However, it was never about how you moved your cheese. Don’t you understand: I always loved you.

🧀