The Cure for Narcissism

We have an epidemic of Narcisissism. I outlined in another essay (note1vuzmx5qetm3zrjd7puvev645fsv5gdj9f6m3997guk4qy2ayv2jqd4wesf) how it comes into being. The rejection of belief in anything ultimately leaves nothing except yourself and given that there's nothing to love, nothing to believe in, what results is a love of self. It's a pathetic, pitiful love, borne out of not knowing yourself, and one that ultimately leads nowhere.

But how do we avoid this cruel fate? How do we get away from being an empty shell of a person staring into a reflection?

The answer might be obvious from the previous essay. Know yourself. Narcissism is not the result of knowing yourself too much, it's the result of knowing yourself too little. What basis can you judge anything until you have a grounding?

But that brings up the question: how do we get a grounding?

And this is where it means pushing your own boundaries. Most people don't know themselves because they live in a bubble. They do what's safe, what's comfortable. This is why Narcissus rejected would-be lovers, because that sounded too scary. He never tried anything scary because there was no impetus. There was no drive.

And really, isn't it the scary moments that we really get to know ourselves? Moments of danger, struggle, victory are when we find out what we're made of. Yet most people avoid uncertain situations because they'd rather be safe and comfortable.

Safe and comfortable lead straight to narcissism. We need experiences that challenge us, stretch us, put us at the brink. That's when we learn who we are and paradoxically, it lets us focus on something outside us.

That focus on the outside, whether it's glory, accomplishment, success or just winning is the beginning of finding purpose, finding love.

You love what you work for more than you work for what you love.