Do you think you’re a Bitcoiner?

Deep down you know you’re fiat princess!!

You’re not a Bitcoiner if:

You say “Surveillance is fine, I have nothing to hide”

Walking into a fiat bank doesn’t make your soul recoil like a vampire entering a church.

You proudly opt in for TSA’s “Digital Identity Experience” because in the small print, it says your photo is deleted.

You bank with Chase and think Jamie Dimon is a better investor than you with his fractional reserve banking program

You don’t self‑custody or run a node because “the exchange seems trustworthy.”

You think KYC is “no big deal,” and you enjoy sending selfies to strangers on the internet to prove you exits

Become a Real Bitcoiner Today!

Side effects may include:

1. Sudden distrust of fluorescent‑lit financial institutions

2. Compulsive node‑running

3. A mysterious urge to say “not your keys, not your corn” this New Year’s party

4. Inability to hear the word “surveillance” without laughing nervously