Ok the problem here is that if I specify that relay as my 'read' relay, clients will send kind-1 events and they will fail. Then I wont get that event at all. Most clients don't fail over to the next read relay. There is no way I can tell people per-event-kind which relay to use.
Discussion
Why not? You can standardize these things in the NIP -- either in NIP-65 or somewhere else --, then add a marker that is not "read" but "dm", for example, and have DM clients send DMs to those DM specific relays.
I do think a designated relay for “private” events would be useful.
For what it’s worth, I’m happy to also build truly “individual” inbox relays that accept all kinds and work exactly as you have in mind nostr:npub1acg6thl5psv62405rljzkj8spesceyfz2c32udakc2ak0dmvfeyse9p35c but I don’t expect many users to run their own. If they did, I have to assume speed and uptime would be poor on average making the client experience worse for everyone. I guess I’m not totally sold on the tradeoffs, personally.
We could offer it as a paid service (where we host them), but then are we really accomplishing anything by doing so?
Do we have a PR on NIP-65 to add a 'dm' relay where we specify the kinds of events? If not we should open it and start the debate
Ok sure we can do that. We haven't done it yet. So this is just for expermentation then at present?