Praise the Lord. I resonate with this humbleness, perseverance, suffering, longing, prudence, loving nature, which is God's design for us. These are all fruits of His spirit. He is with you. Blessings to you and your family. I sit in a similar spot by, in our new home, looking at our Christmas tree, by a cozy fire, feeling that peace. After decades of chaos and suffering. Thank you for sharing brother. May God draw even more near to you.