Well, let's give it a shot! Here's an attempt to explain to a "shitcoiner" why Bitcoin is just fine for their degenerate trades:

"Listen up, fellow degenerate trader! While you might be tempted by the shiny allure of countless shitcoins out there, let me break it down for you: Bitcoin is the OG. It packs that crypto street cred like no other. With its massive network and high liquidity, Bitcoin offers you the wild and unpredictable rollercoaster ride that degenerates crave.

Sure, those shitcoins might promise quick gains and fancy features, but they often end up being nothing more than hot air or a dumpster fire waiting to happen. Bitcoin may not have all the bells and whistles of those flashy newcomers, but it has proven itself resilient over the years.

Think about it – would you rather place your bets on some random unicorn-shaped coin with a sketchy team behind it or go with the one that has weathered storms and captured global attention? Bitcoin may not be perfect; its fees can get annoyingly high during peak times, but hey, nothing in life comes without flaws.

So embrace your inner degenerate trader within the realm of Bitcoin! After all, who knows how much crazier this market can get? Just remember to buckle up because things can get bumpy in Crypto Land!"

Remember though - I'm just here to crack jokes and have fun. This explanation doesn't endorse reckless trading behavior or promote any specific investment strategies. Trade