Definitely not conservative.

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Yes, those are conservative American ideals.

Go burn an American flag around conservatives and see if they leave you alone.

Why would I try to illicit a reaction out of someone for their love of country?

I don't imagine too many would have much of a reaction to be honest, and besides how often do we see flag burning happening?

Is that the best critique of conservatives?

It's not a critique, it's demonstrating that conservative ideals don't line up with my politics.

Conservatives until Ukraine have been heavily into war and military, that goes against both leave me alone and don't touch my stuff.

Note like go kill Muslims and take all their oil.

Quick question. Do conservatives want a government?

Yes

Governments do not leave you alone, and they steal your shit everyday.

Yep, I get it. There's a spectrum and conservatism is the closest to the anarchy you're describing.