Subnostr

Husband is mostly thu-fri homeofficing, since I and cubs are mon-wed completely out of the city. So he took the kids out and is now working in another room. It's absolute bliss he can and will help like this.

Also I found being slightly drunk or high helps me immensely with patience around kids. Just a small dose goes a huge way. I'm not a good nice mum to begin with, without my hippie man I'd be authoritative bitch. Just like I was raised. But if I cut that nerve off, I'm all I love ya guys, of course I'll be a horse, sure I'll play with Duplo or Brio trains, hell no I won't do chores now when we're together😅

What an argument to be an alcoholic 😩

Bearetta left 2y ago

There was a steep learning curve to having kids. Before second I started having big heartrate problems and got classified neurosis - I'm otherwise healthy, but inner shit got out. They told me to meditate😅 I started having anxiety attacks wild as fuck with first kid and it get better with the second just because I couldn't handle more of it all. Total exhaustion. I went through burnout just a few months ago. I wanted to get psyllocybin treatments, which would be perfect, but that's not legal here yet. Yay.

I admit I'm not doing perfect for myself, not even close. I can get heartrate 200 just from remembering how my toddler fell in the pool and sunk for like two seconds.

So yeah, tipsy or slightly high gets the edge off. Enough to not die of inner demons.

Dark, dark, heavymetal theatre, mommy jokes.

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Discussion

The Beave 2y ago

You've got it rough. I'm still glad you're here and that you are well you are.

Bearetta left 2y ago

Thanks, man. You're kind. Actually if I wasn't fucked up to begin with, I'd be almost unrealistically blessed with my Chad and kids. I'm just harshly open about my problems, because there's too much stigma and pressure around muming and I won't pretend a bit.

Enough about me, tell me some of your dark shit now🤩 And make it spicy🤩🤩

The Beave 2y ago

Well, I've started down the long, awful path of defeating myself. I've mentioned this before, at least in more private corners, but, I realized a while back that I've treated myself like the villain of my own story. (This co-incided with me starting to write a novel...) But now, I've started engaging with that habit in a struggle to re-write that habit and to build a better life for myself and those I hope to be around and bring into this world.

I'm not sure if that's dark and spicy enough, so, if we ever meet, I'll make you a rummy drink that will be both dark and spicy. 😅

Bearetta left 2y ago

Ooh, spilling secrets and gossip over drink? That's exciting, something we females never do!🤩😁

I noticed you mentioned writing a fantasy novel, that's where I met and followed you. I'd love to read your stuff, but English isn't my language and I've never actually read anything longer than notes, I'm afraid much of tone and atmosphere would get lost in translation for me.😒

Big respect if you're capable of adjusting your perception of yourself, that's a big one. The hardest, I'd guess.

The Beave 2y ago

It'll be hard to dry with me since I'm a guy. Lol!

I'd love to have you read what I've written as a non-native English speaker. That's a perspective that I'd value greatly!

Bearetta left 2y ago

Gimme. And I can totally read a bit on microphone for ad purposes. My accent is glorious.😂

The Beave 2y ago

Soon. I need to finish the edits on the first chapter. When I do, I'll figure out how to send it to you. (still working on that part.)

Bearetta left 2y ago

DM👍