“At some point, after being given just a half pita in the evening every day, and living with his hands and feet handcuffed, Braslavski decided to act and managed to set fire to a terrorist’s uniform and a book, using the flame to cook some pasta. The smoke attracted the attention of other people nearby, but his captor transferred him to a slightly better location before anyone could find him, Tami shares.” — Actual claim in print in a paper of record of one of the Palestinian’s former hostages.

I don’t care what material the book and clothing was made out of. There’s no singular book and uniform on earth that releases enough energy on burning to maintain water at boiling point long enough to make pasta. I’ve heard all the the ridiculous lies Jews have made up about the so-called Holocaust. The rollercoaster of death. The Looney Tunes looping suicide shotgun barrels. The human skin lampshades. The crematoriums that would vaporize Jewish corpses at rates that defy thermodynamics.

What’s crazy about this round of lies is the absolute mundanity of it. It is equally extreme in its absurdity, but the claims in defiance of known physics are infuriating because they are put towards completely mundane ends. You claimed you achieved an impossible defiance of thermodynamics and you used it to make fucking pasta? Seriously? That’s the line you are going with? At least claim that the Palestinians had secret crematoriums in the tunnels which they were burning millions of Israeli Jews that they had bred in captivity. Give us a story worth laughing about, not one that is infuriatingly boring in its ridiculous lies.