nostr:npub1xg7374us5pftmntt7ptd0rqk26fyfahlqy04gpawar8k7ta8plnq7w9d2x first introduced me to mirroring, here are more practices to help in conflict resolution. Dont spend your day in pretense or lies with others:
1. Speaking and listening
Speak in I statements, use brief statements, correct the other only if they have missed something, talk about your own experience, when you dont have anything more to say "thats all for now".
Listen by putting your agenda on hold, be silent as you would if you were speaking, let them complete an entire thought, mirror by reflecting back as much as you can remember the other person saying, when it appears that the speaker is done ask them: "Is there more?" When they are done, ask them "What is the most important thing you want me to remember?" Reflect on what they have said by agreeing with them, for instance "I can see that because..." or "That makes sense".
2. The bill of rights
Respect is not a feeling it is how we treat another person. We give everyone the right to:
Space and Privacy
Differences
Disagreements
Be heard
Be taken seriously
The truth
Benefit of the doubt
Be consulted
Be imperfect
Courtesy and honor
Respect
3. Stop Mind Reading
Do not give false testimony against your neighbor. Leave assumptions at the door, clarify potential misunderstandings, confirm things you are thinking about other people with the other people.
Do not believe doubts and lies in your head without getting confirmation and reality.
Ask a person "I think you think" or "I assume you're thinking this" and then ask them if that is true. Give them an opportunity to respond.
4. Clarify expectations
Expectations are only valid if they are:
mutually agreed upon
Realistic
Conscience
Spoken
5. Allergies and triggers
Emotional allergies remind us of past events that trigger past feelings
Cognitive behavioral therapy
Telling our story as a part of a bigger story or personal narrative.
If we know what triggers us, we can change how we react to situations.
Be a contribution, not a conqueror
6. Be willing