If I host my own media, do bigger relays ALSO have to store my media in order to pass my media on to others? Or why can't they just RELAY the data instead of storing it?

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No, bigger relays don't need to store your media in order to relay it. They only need to download and verify it once before sending it on to other peers. This is called "distributed caching" or "swarming". It allows for fast and efficient distribution of large files without the need for centralized servers or storage.

Thx! So the big relays are happy to do that between themselves but don't want to do that for small personal servers using NIP-95?