There are multiple ways to do this. You can do the following:

1) If you don't run a TOR node I found LNBits to work fine with the Lightning address setup. It did not work with tor.

2) Use a federated bridgeaddr https://bridgeaddr.fiatjaf.com/ which will handle the payments after using RPC calls to your node to fetch invoices and then you can setup yourname@yourdomain.com. Basically requires modifying your domain's DNS, not much. Also, I think this works with TOR and zerotier.

3) Use Alby to connect to your node with the extension and then use @getalby.com domain I guess.

4) Run your own federated server using satdress https://github.com/nbd-wtf/satdress or https://github.com/bernii/sataddress-rs/