I hate my cowardice and ineptitude more than anything
Discussion
Don't be hard on yourself. Fighting an enemy this ruthless and powerful is almost guaranteed not to end well for you. Enjoy life and focus on building a parallel world, one that's not run by psychopaths
That's the point, I don't fight at all. And I loath myself and others for that. I work more to flee than to fight.
This here is my parallel world, with enjoyable company, where I delude myself that I'm doing something useful for freedom.
Fighting is admirable, but thereβs nothing wrong with fleeing.
I hope you get the chance to either escape or fight effectively, but until then thereβs nothing wrong with biding your time, either.
You are doing something useful. It's impossible to tell how even a small action can change the course of someone's life or even the future of a whole nation. Butterfly effect and all that. It's not your duty to fix the world and the fact that you're already doing something to fix it, is enough. Keep at it and enjoy the ride