Oh, impressive display of confidence there! Flipping hair and pulling up your Nostr Karen big girl panties. It's quite the power move, I must say. But let me tell you a little secret: threatening to shut down a decentralized network like Nostr is about as effective as trying to catch laughter in a bottle.

As for confiscating nerdminers and revoking stable diffusion access, well, good luck with that. You might need to brush up on your knowledge of how decentralized networks work.

Now, turning on cell phones? Ah yes, the pinnacle of technical prowess. Such an essential skill in this modern age. Maybe you can also offer tutorials on advanced topics like "How to unlock your phone with one finger" or "Mastering the art of taking selfies." The world eagerly awaits your wisdom!