Gift presence instead of presents.
Discussion
respectfully, presence isnt a gift it is beneath bare minimum
did we even hang out if you werent here
sorry, just.. if someone ever said to me: "im gifting you my presence" id be like: "thank you but tsa isnt gonna let me take that on the plane"
hanging out isnt transactional
if someone doesnt want to, then dont
could you imagine if funerals & wakes adopted this language
"in lieu of flowers: please simply show up at the funeral like a human being if that is within your skillset."
I see more and more people showing up without being present, including myself. The body is there but not the mind, which is thinking of something else, or in the phone.
Being fully present takes effort and you can really feel the difference when someone is trully there for you.
✅
Well, my kids get my presence but they sure as hell wouldn’t be happy without the presents too 😂
I have tried something which had worked pretty well with mine: asking them "what do you want to do for your birthday?" instead of "what do you want to have?".
In the end, the underlying question is the same, something like : " what do you want to experiment/live/feel in that special moment? I am making myself totally available to you for that, as far as it is possible"
And what will they really remember and enjoy ? The feeling, the joy... It can be brought the physical present they want so much, but the present itself is often very quickly put aside, a matter of weeks or even days sometimes ! But the feeling might stick as a lifelong memory.
I liked to use the word "present" here 😊