I know I make this point like once a year, but...

If you're an American with more than $40 in your wallet and you don't habitually use a bidet, I think you are a disgusting sub-human animal.

There's no better way of putting it.

You dryly smear shit around your ass each morning then walk around amongst society for near fifteen hours before considering actually cleaning yourself.

Disgusting.

Do you "wash your hands" with only paper towels? No.

Stop being a filthy Amerimutt.

Get a bidet.