Ditto. 🤔🧐

I use free relays, so I can't comment on good paid relays.

use https://nostr.band to see what relays are seeing which messages. The stats page also shows how many users/messages are being seen there.

I find nos.lol is extremely valuable as it is an aggregator and a normal free relay. nostr.band is also an aggregator but I don't think it performs as a normal relay, yet.