I guess my brain can’t comprehend what that means.

So I set a number of inbox and outbox relays, but the app won’t use them?

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It's just like mail. An inbox is notes for you, you receive notes on those relays. An outbox is where people can find your notes, you publish your notes on those relays.

If I want your notes, I use the relays you have set to communicate with you. You do the same on your end, using my relays to communicate with me.

It makes it so people don't need common relays, making Nostr more decentralized.

Oh, so my outbox is fixed, it won’t change, my app will always use the outbox relays I set to send notes.

The inbox I don’t need to set, because the app will look for other outboxes and use them to read notes.

Doesn’t nostr.land scrape most relays? Couldn’t I just use them?

Sure, you can do what you want. There's a proxy relay option for exactly that.

😉 I’m fascinated by the way relays are structured

semisol is alright but i really don't think he gets the point of nostr.

if we all just use one relay what happens when that relay operator lands in prison and they sieze the servers?

I value simplicity. Not everyone is going to pay for a relay, run their own, or just use the defaults.