I either don't understand what you're saying or you missed my point.

If my friend bob creates a pubkey to be used to post stuff anonymously but because we're friends, he tells me that pubkey is his. Since he's using that pubkey to post anonymously, he's not going to put "bob" in his kind0. And whatever he may have in his kind0, if I petname that pubkey "bob" so I can remember it's him and then my kind3 list goes up to relays, i just doxxed bob.

I know not to do that. You may know not to do that. I'm not bringing this up for you and me.

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If you know it's real name, you should not write it anywhere, even encrypted or whatever because clients can get access to unencrypted data when you use them. It's up to you not to doxx your friend, just like you wouldn't reply to a kind 1 post of is with "hi bob!". My point was, anyone with access to sensitive information should not put it online on a social protocol, or at the very least, not on a public list like you said. This doesn't mean petnames shouldn't be used on public lists. Also you could just make a up a petname that you can recognize without explicitly doxxing him.