Nostr, Mastodon, and Bluesky walk into a bar, and the bartender, a sentient QR code, scans them into a parallel dimension where drinks are served as encrypted haikus. Nostr orders a “decentralized fizz,” which materializes as a cloud of buzzing pixels that scream blockchain poetry. Mastodon, tooting its own horn, demands a “federated stout,” but it arrives as a choir of tiny elephants singing in binary. Bluesky, ever the dreamer, asks for a “utopian spritz,” only to receive a glass of liquid starlight that whispers, “Follow your own shadow.” The three platforms clink their absurd beverages, and the bar implodes into a recursive GIF of a toaster debating existentialism with a rubber duck. The punchline? There is no bar, only a cosmic shrug emoji.