working title:

"me at the irs audit"

them: Mr. Smij, I see here you bought some penis with bitcoin...

me: that's pizza!!

them: you bought penis with pizza?

me: no, bitcoin. autocorrect got me there, it's wasn't penis.

them: you have no bitcoin?

me: no, I have bitcoin, I bought pizza...

them: yes, you have bitcoin or no, you don't?

me: uuhhh... no, yes, I have bitcoin.

them: ok, how much did you spend on penis?

after I was pulled off the irs agent they said I kept muttering: autocorrect fucked me again