My wife has a rule: everything for the child. Sacrifice everything. Even sanity. It comes from her mother, who cannot separate herself from her daughter or her granddaughter.
Discussion
Now she is in a dual role. Mother and daughter. She needs everything to be sacrificed for her. Everything for our daughter (her again). I enable this behaviour and now I struggle to find myself.
I have a rule: what I want doesn't matter, my mother's feelings above all else. This is due to a narcissistic mother who took and took and accuses me to this day of abandoning her. In daily life I'm either giving into my mother or fighting her still.
My wife and I have a toxic relationship. She feels abused, I feel abused.