It depends on the users needs, but a Pi is absolutely sufficient enough for a private relay to store your own notes and events. I wouldn't co-mingle the two services though, for security purposes.

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Is there a video or something how to set up ?

I don't know, sorry. I setup my relay manually.

Ime,, pis usually die just from running docker; if I were to run my relay in a pi I’d do it straight on the metal and skip docker altogether.

Would the hw in a pi allow for a private relay on top of ie umbrel (that is running full node and lightning)?

yes, it would. though, i wouldn't recommend it. i don't like mixing bitcoin with other applications for security purposes.

So umbrel app store is a bad take on the personal server set up?

Its really practical though.

It’s really practical, sure, but they have many applications that are resource dependent and/or is far too security compromising to really recommend past your first/initial node, learning about how these systems work.