It’s not that you shouldn’t be able to, it’s just that there’s no way to force every relay to respect deletes

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So it's rather technical.

[814433]

It’s rather optional. Some relays just won’t ever go along with a delete request. You can’t really know which ones do this unless you choose very carefully.

Then somehow we are not entirely free

[814434]

Even if you do, people might still broadcast your notes to other relays

Exactly. I could store your notes in my Umbrel relay and you’re shit out of luck.