
Australia doesnât regulate cannabis because itâs dangerous.
Australia regulates cannabis because if people stop smoking weed, they might stop drinking â and then what the hell happens to the tax base, the pubs, the pokies, the domestic violence statistics, the âmateshipâ ads, and the sacred cultural ritual of numbing yourself into compliance?
Cannabis is tightly controlled not because it ruins lives, but because it interrupts a perfectly profitable self-destruction loop. Weed makes people reflective. Alcohol makes them obedient. Weed makes you question why youâre tired, broke, and angry. Alcohol makes you forget long enough to show up again on Monday.
You donât smash your bossâs car after a joint.
You donât punch a wall after an edible.
You donât wake up with a police record, a missing phone, and a shame hangover because you had âone cone too many.â
Thatâs the real crime.
If Australians stopped drinking and started thinking, the economy would notice. The compliance layer would crack. The marketing bullshit wouldnât land. The âjust work harderâ spell would break. Youâd have people asking dangerous questions like âwhy is my life structured like this?â
So cannabis gets wrapped in red tape, medicalised, gate-kept, taxed into irrelevance, and framed as a problem â while alcohol gets stadium sponsorships, government ads, and a smiling bloke telling you to âdrink responsiblyâ before selling you a liver failure subscription.
This isnât about public health.
Itâs about behavioural control.
A slightly sedated, slightly angry, slightly numb population drinks.
A calm, introspective population doesnât buy the story.
And thatâs why weed is regulated like plutonium
while alcohol is treated like patriotism.
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