Subnostr

Hot take: Women can’t fix their psychological problems once they’ve had kids.

Whatever their particular issue is, once they’ve got kids, it’s locked in.

Their focus is now 100% the growth and development of those kids, not themselves.

And, whereas, before kids, the risk of losing her man over her problems was a legitimate motivator to work on herself, once kids are in the equation, the idea of him leaving is just abandonment in her eyes, and a man will only make everything worse if he threatens it.

This is the reason men avoid marriage. Most of them realize it’s a hostage situation, every time.

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Discussion

Toxotes 1y ago

I think a lot of psychological problems are the result of or at least are exacerbated by too much focus on the self to the exclusion of others, while serving others in general, if done with genuine goodwill, is better than any paid therapy; that ought to include raising kids. But, I did have a crazy mother and the world is only getting sicker...

mrclownworld 1y ago

That’s part of the catch, moms ARE living for others, their intent is 100% honorable, so they fail to see how their approach to anything could be problematic

When you say “maybe that’s not the best way to do that” she hears “you’re a bad mother” and then it’s off the rails

mrclownworld 1y ago

When anyone gets feedback the risk is that they don’t hear the feedback, they just hear “you’re a bad person”

That’s not good, but hearing “you’re a bad mom” puts her at 110% defensive battle mode and you will lose because she’s effectively defending her kids, etc