Thank you! It feels quite natural to share my life on here! I shall keep your tips in mind 🥰🫶🏼
Discussion
i took care of my grandother who had dementia and was in a wheelchair for three years, it was the hardest challenge of my life, but the most rewarding. We both needed each other at that time, and I am grateful for her. So I would love to hear all your thoughts, the good and bad.
💖 Well done for doing all you did - it truly is something to be proud of but my goodness, it’s draining! To be on demand constantly, never knowing what the next drama or emergency will be.. usually whilst I’m trying to work! I am definitely learning about myself, patience, etc. but I do have the benefit that I’m trained in this area due to my career.. I can kind of switch off, as such..
patience is the key word, i realized how patient i was....in three years, i only caught myself once going so far where i had to check myself. (i didn't do anything but the thoughts, man).......my grandmother was very responsible, so when she was stuck in her loop, i would answer the same question allllllllll day long. "Sarah, did I pay my rent?" "Yes, Grandma, you did".....I tried everything to get her out of that loop. But we did it, and she felt safe with me. I was completely burnt out by year three, and my most mentally stressing time, its a challenge. The best advice I can offer is once she doesn pass, you will look back and go this was an experience, I did the best I could, and I did it with patience. (side note: have you ever thought about the people in your life and if they would do that for you in that state? that was a big wake up call for who was in my life)
Well done, honestly.. because it really is testing. I think I am the same, just once which I was able to vocalise to another family member. I immediately felt awful for getting stressed in the situation because it was probably much worse for her. It would be amazing to get inside her head for a short while, just to truly understand where she thinks she is, when she thinks it is, etc.
The repetitiveness and reassurance 🫠 well done for keeping your cool!
I completely understand what you are saying at the end - unfortunately, I was pushed into this situation, as such. Ultimately, it was my decision but I didn’t feel there was any choice in the matter considering I was staying up overnight waiting for ambulances in between shifts at work or staying up all night in A&E whilst she snored away! My Grandmother is most certainly not responsible and we did not have a close relationship beforehand. She basically disowned me, my mother and siblings, only speaking to my Aunt for about 8-9 years. Once she has passed, I will be so grateful for the effort I put in to ensure she was supported in a dignified way, and all the care I have provided, but honestly.. I will be so happy. The weight on my shoulders is incredible - I don’t do it for thanks, but I definitely don’t do it to be disrespected and under appreciated! Only December I was being shouted at and threatened to be reported for neglect and abuse….. all because I stated the fact I was always left her washing up to do after work/a day for myself when she was supposed to be there to ease the load 😬 families, eh!
remember, people take advantage of your good heart for their own well-being, and if anyone goes beyond that, it is their problem and their thinking, you are a beautiful person trying to help ease the transition for everyone. That is all you can take from it. You know you, and you know what your values are. Fuck, what they say, because you know. Now, to the point of the neglect and all that weirdness, I would probably step away, and let them handle it. If they believe that. More often than not, they are projecting and then they screw up the situation for themselves. Because if you have a good heart and they are saying you are bad, and when you take that heart away, they look worse. So sometimes, it isn't your responsibility even in case where a person is incapable of taking care of themselves. I am not trying to sound harsh, but being abused so you can do a good deed, is also not right. Sometimes, it is ok to say no...
I would love to talk to you more about this, i literally had about three cocktails about now, and I might sound foolish or cant see the words, so lets resume this after today. I am always here to be an ear otherwise. xo
I appreciate your honesty! And I hope you continue to enjoy those cocktails, have one for me!! 🍹🍹
As you have said about stepping back, I actually did at the point of that argument! I gave it some back, I can assure you! I’m not so great in those situations, when personal, as I just see red! Protection, I would imagine!!
They have most certainly struggled without me and came crawling back pretty quickly! My support is increasing again, but as previously stated - I’ll know I put in my all.
You enjoy girl 🥰🫶🏼 we will speak again 🫶🏼✨