There are no NFTs in Bitcoin.

You cannot inscribe an NFT on a satoshi.

You cannot buy an NFT-inscribed satoshi.

A satoshi is a satoshi is a satoshi.

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Discussion

Why does each Satoshi have a unique snail trail recording its entire history, then?

A unique history is even 'better' than a serial number. Satoshis were never meant to be fungible, most just haven't figured that out yet.