If you're struggling to find meaning, i'd argue you're missing the forest for the trees.

You don't need to tell me, but I want you to introspect for a bit and try and figure out what you /really/ want vs what you are doing. The purpose of anything you do should be in service of that which is most meaningful to you.

There's "means-to-an-end" goals and there are end goals. You get there by saying "im doing this so that I can ..." and you keep going until you can't anymore - "i'm doing this because that's what I want". When you find that, you can try to remove all the bullshit means-to-an-end goals that are bogging you down.