The "Rivers of Blood" article, or -- The Lordship list, fifth year.
Motto : "pricep ca ai trage apa dupa ei in esenta si pe drept cuvant. si ti-e o lehamite cumplita."
"apai macar dupa jumatate. anu' trecut daca-ti mai amintesti l1 s-o cam injumatatit ; se vadeste ca era dublu si-asa."
Recall Enoch Powell, ie the last time a "representative" attempted to actually represent his constituency, rather than toe the pantsuit line ? No ? That's odd, because according to google he's the only thing worthy of note in relation to that Vergil line. Who the fuck was Vergil anyway, amirite, he didn't even have a twacebook account or anything.
Artificial "intelligence" aside, there's more to this "rivers of blood" device than the rather unremarkable and on-its-own-merits-hardly-worth-the-mentioni circumstance that pantsuit have serious problems digesting the substantial inhumanity of a large portion of all what crawled out from between woman's legs.ii
Such as for instance... well, originally the de-lording portion of this piece was going to be a lot longer -- so long, in fact, it was broken down into a section for proposals and a section for imposals! But, as history actually flew -- rather than as it could have flown -- there's really no need for butchery on such scale. Instead, here's the reduced, attenuated, piddly rivers of blood article ; with nary the gory and none of the glory of the original, it shuffles sadly towards the dusty corner of unremarkable where all these deplorable could-have-beens if-only go.
But without further ado, let's sit down to business. The current list reads,
Her Ladyship diana_coman, Marquess Eulora,
Her Ladyship hanbot, the Lady Falconeer,
His Lordship trinque, the Master of the Rolls,
His Lordship bingoboingo, Lord Goebbels,
His Lordship mod6, the Lord High Steward,
His Worship danielpbarron, the learned Trishop,
His Lordship mircea_popescu,
His Lordship asciilifeform, the Lord Admiral,
His Lordship davout, the Master of Common Pleas,
His Lordship ben_vulpes, the Lord of the Well,
His Lordship phf, the Lord Chancellor.
His Lordship jurov, the Lord Treasurer.
His Lordship Framedragger, the Lord Scanner.
His Lordship shinohai, the Right Honorable Baron Titsbare.
It is my considered opinion that davout, jurov, Framedragger and shinohai should all be stricken, due to a certainly present defect which might best be called "failure to thrive".
It's not that they aren't fine, pleasant, respectable or however else people -- jurov was right there when some Foundation funds had to be disbursed, for instance ; shinohai's still always on hand to do a spot of work as he always was (even though nothing anyone heard of came from, say, that reddit experiment) ; davout and Framedragger do on occasion grace us with postcards from whatever pantsuit hellhole they chose to call home, every six months or so.
Nevertheless, these personal characteristics of theirs have no bearing on the matter. The Republic can, and in fact does -- as it had to -- manage just as well without them as with them, and this state of affairs utterly precludes participation in the L1, whatever other qualities may be argued.
It is also my considered opinion that lobbes, spyked and ave1 should be added. As far as lobbes is concerned I believe we have such wide agreement so as to make belabouring the arguments a waste of space (not that I won't happily indulge, if need be) ; as to the other two I believe they have shown great potential, and should be encouraged -- you have to produce the future's "failure to thrive" somehow, after all!
This year's discussion begins somewhat early (though we're technically in March -- the other way from how we were technically in March last time) ; but the actual execution is still intended as a mid-April-ish sort of affair, which leaves ample time for debate. What say you ?
And can you believe it's already been five years ?
———You know, just like the very pantsuit in question. They don't have names because they don't actually need names for any purpose. [↩]It's not that "history is the biography of great men" ; it's rather that the vast majority of walkers had no business treading the Earth in the first place, entirely indistinguishable from the products of yeast infection as they find themselves.
Don't tell me it's going to be "even yeasts have rights" next, hm ? [↩]
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Wednesday, 28 February, Year 10 d.Tr.