Me: Look honey I got a new sword!

Wife: Didn't you just buy a new sword?

Me: Yes, but now I have a rapier!

Wife: And why did you need a rapier when you have (waves broadly to expansive home office that is mainly decorated with swords)...?

Me: We're going to the renaissance fair next weekend!

Wife: Uh huh?

Me: And a rapier is the canonical renaissance sword!

Wife: That may be true, but you know you're not allowed to bring swords to the renaissance far.

Me: THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF FAIR!!!