Nip-81 is the winner but clients just don’t want to do the work.

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NIP-81 seems fine. It puts the client configuration on the relay but satisfies the same requirement.

It allows your configuration to travel with you when your client rugs you.

That’s a good point. The ability to change clients easily is one of Nostr’s great strengths. It’s important to not sacrifice this feature in the interest of achieving something else.