Looks like we're going with the second one then

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Why are you mean to me again?

To wake you up, if it's possible (I suspect it's not, but there is always hope)

What are you on? What did I do? I posted a mirror selfie ahahhahahaah

You're on track for a very disappointing, lonely life if you don't change. You don't see it, but it's a very common pattern. I'm trying to warn you.

Thank you for the warning