Okay, I'm about halfway through the article about the Taxil hoax. I think I've heard if this... Problem is, the church loves having enemies. That irreverent prankster did real damage - the catholics aren't backing down. They've found new cathars to exterminate. No one expects the Inquisition! Well... Fool me one, shame yeah etc.

Are you still preparing to catechise into Catholicism? I do think its a good move. They're not bad people. I just hope you don't sacrifice your critical thinking.

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no, i can't swallow the transubstantiation thing. i'm no cannibal. i eat enough of myself as it is, er... by habit.

also i had communion at protestant churches and they had little vials of grape juice and actual biscuits, the wafers are cardboard. i felt something when i did it, before i knew that i was not supposed to join in but they are quite relaxed here, and i only ran into this knowledge after doing the circle of the church incorrectly.

no, i'm not interested in practising any kind of magic. i want to be open to God's magic around me, and that is just a matter of... well... discipline. which i'm not very good at. i keep on doing things that block my sensors.

Well, you got it. That's all magic really is. Discipline. Miracles do happen, but that's God, not a guy waving his hands. All the stuff about demons, banishing rituals, etc, that's allegory for your own imperfections, aka learning discipline. IMO its fine to do, if you know that that's all you're doing, but people do have a tendency to ascribe extra significance and elaborate stories to things. Or just be a Christian, and that has all the same lessons and probably less hubris.

I hope you're still on good terms with your Catholic friends. They really are good people - the doctrinal differences are insignificant. Maybe I'm butting into something and shouldn't...

Well, my aim is to be on good terms with all the faiths. I'd like to be able to attend mass, a Baptist church, a mosque, a synagogue, and a Buddhist temple all in one week, and people be okay with it. I've heard Christians say that's wrong, and I think they're wrong. God is God, and yeah there's a Deceiver out there, but God is still God. Its really simple math. Its kinda like one Bitcoin equals one bitcoin, or Satoshi saying he doesn't have time if you don't get it.

And to loop back to Masons... I've heard them say very similar things. They're not bad people. I'd know - I have a very sensitive Spidey Sense.

yeah, it's just a case of. idk if it's going to do me any good. and i don't trust it. it feels like the whole thing (all the things) are a cargo cult and i'm not gonna do parade on some fake parade ground and pretend i'm an american soldier, if you know what i mean. i want to do the actual thing that does the actual thing.

i already did the psychedelics. i did the spirit quests, i did the prayer. i don't think i'm that far from finding it. at the same time i feel so ordinary. but i think that was a consequence.

You'll laugh when you find it. And, I think, is an understatement.