Dear Nostr,

Lately, I feel like a giver rather than a receiver. I just keep giving and giving, while others keep taking without a second thought. I never ask for anything in return, but it feels like people take it so much for granted that they don’t even consider that I might want the same in return. I also want to be treated the way I treat others.

I genuinely love caring, giving, helping, encouraging, and listening to others—I’ve been that way for as long as I can remember. But recently, it’s like everyone is just indifferent, automatically expecting what I used to give without even a word.

I especially noticed it on my birthday this year—empty, bland congratulations. When I celebrate others, I go out of my way to make their day special, constantly reminding them that it’s a big deal, that it’s their day. But what did I get? Nothing that made me feel special or appreciated. Just empty words and an ordinary day. Of course, how could anyone know what my expectations were if I never said them out loud? But why didn’t anyone bother to ask? It’s not about material things—it’s about that special feeling that I really miss. It just feels like no one truly values me.

It made me realize that those closest to me don’t even consider that I might want something nice too, to feel valued and special in their lives. Everyone just expects and waits because they feel entitled to it. And then I understood—it’s my own fault. I need to focus on myself more. Others will either accept it or we’ll go our separate ways.

How do you set boundaries? Do you also feel unappreciated sometimes?

Reply to this note

Please Login to reply.

Discussion

Be your own favorite person. Period

That’s a powerful reminder. This is one of those moments that really makes me think—maybe all my efforts so far have been pointless because no one really needed them or even asked for them. Guess it’s time to start focusing on being my own favorite person.

Be odd and happy 😊

I’ve stopped relying on others to do nice things for me and just do nice things for myself whenever I feel like it - doesn’t even need to be a birthday.

As it should be. Good on you!

That’s a great mindset, honestly. I guess I just got so used to giving that I never learned how to give to myself. Maybe it’s time I start doing nice things for myself too, without waiting for anyone else to do it. Thanks for the perspective!

Keep giving. It may seem unreciprocated now but it will come around in a big way.

It feels like by the time that happens, I’ll already be drained and won’t even need it anymore.

Then you will have reached balance ✨

šŸ™šŸ¼

Totally agree, a lot of times we put others like priority before us. And never haver the same return, we must change this situation and give our self more value.

Absolutely! It’s crazy how easily we put others first without even thinking about it, and then end up feeling overlooked. You’re right—we really need to start valuing ourselves more and setting those boundaries. It’s not selfish, it’s necessary.

My policy around giving to first fill my cup and give from overflow. Supporting others from a place of abundance feels better.

Another semi-related mantra I live by is to never light myself on fire to keep others warm.

The general principle at play is to prioritize my own well-being so that I can sustainably support others without destroying myself in the process.

Hope this helps!

That’s such a powerful mindset! I really like the idea of giving from a place of abundance rather than depletion. I guess I’ve been so focused on keeping others warm that I didn’t notice I was burning myself out in the process. Definitely something I need to work on—thanks for sharing that perspective!

You bet. All the best!

šŸ™šŸ¼