Here are my

Top Five Totally Secret Insider Tips for Receiving Male Attention on a Network That is 99% Male

*drumroll please*

1. Be female.

2. Don't be male.

3. Be in plausible possession of a vagina.

4. Have two X chromosomes.

5. Don't be a dude.

Join me here, next week, for my course, "How to be snarky and obnoxious in the Internet because it's more fun to shitpost, than to wash the dirty dishes."