There may be something missing from your childhood.
It's happened to all of us.
Every child will.
Children who grow up in very caring (!) families will also have a need for private space, the need to take responsibility, and the need to be alone.
But don't you have to grow up anymore?
You can't blame your parents for the rest of your life and take shelter in those days..
You'll live, of course, but it won't do you any good.
They are no longer criminals.
You are guilty of not changing.
You need to fix yourself.
Not to forgive those days. You need to delete them from your life.
"It happened. It was. They were. They were disgusting."
It is necessary to accept this and stop blaming.