Would a nurse be good if he didn't care at all what his patients wanted or needed? What if the way he did things was an expression of who he is? Would you want a different nurse? Do you think someone like that should be a nurse? Would you keep paying him?

Assume that you are a reasonable and good faith patient.

I would want a nurse who cares about my wants and needs, even if he couldn't always meet them perfectly. He would tell me why and at least leave me feeling heard. I'd almost always accept that.

Imagine your nurse instead gives you the middle finger and tells you that you should just be grateful for what he does give you. He's a nurse, and you're just a patient. "Who have you nursed?! Why don't you be a nurse and nurse the way you think I should?"

Would you accept that if you were my patient? Would you make excuses for me and my hospital? Healthcare isn't easy, especially emergency medicine. Would you have certain expectations of me as a healthcare professional, or could I just do whatever I want because a third party is paying me and I want to express myself how I see fit? I'm not saying you can expect to always get your way, but do you think you'd have a right to be heard and cared about?

That's no different than how I view software development (and it's how I acted when I was a professional developer). There should be a healthy relationship between professional developers and users. Not abusive in either direction. Mutually respectful and beneficial. When that ceases to be, users have the right to support someone else. They have the right (I consider it MY duty) to stop supporting organizations and projects that no longer work for users. That really shouldn't be controversial.