The following list is a beta test, to be checked by nostr:npub12n7xd8xvqwj8k0v44yg3hlwutyyx85n28xx8zjwj6dykswuy28yqu7xsq4 AKA The Love Doctor first.

(Also not for married men to read 🤣, you guys won already 😭🙏)

Disclaimer – this is just for laughs, and totally my personal list (with inspiration from nostriches) and 💯% won’t work for every women/romantic interest and so not to be taken seriously (for the most part).

Do:

*Give her a cheesy pickup line to keep things ‘spicy’🔥 – make it ‘punny’ (inspired by nostr:npub17x7htjej3hgcqwqj86u9yvpcunhw6nz4zclzph2zfnlwe4v0yp8qrxvgap).

*Give her your jacket when she’s obviously cold. She’s not fine, she’s lying. (But don't chaase after her with it or anything). And if she offers to share it with you, she LIKES you.

*Write her love letters. Not every day, but enough times in life to show her you care. Make it a life habit, like paying rent 🤙

*hug her like a koala bear hugs trees 🐨

*Shower together - not all the time, but you get it

*Cook together - see above

*Be still together 🤙 - see above

*Let her rest her head on your shoulder

*Communicate - even Henry VIII kept in touch with Anne Boleyn when travelling... before he had her killed...

*Compromise – no one is perfect. Humans aren’t built to be. We are made to want perfection though 🥹. Be perfectly imperfect together 🫂 why not?

*Accept flaws – if they’re worth it 💯(see above)

*Be there when their dog dies 😭

*Walk on the side of traffic, it’s sweet

*Give her the last cookie. If she offers to split it, she’s a keeper. If she doesn’t, she’s going to break your heart 👀. Nah I'm just joking... probably...

*Good morning and good night texts/phone calls 👌

*Exchange t-shirts/hoodies

*Hold her hand 🩷

*Kiss her forehead, hand, cheek 👌✨

Do NOT:

*Repeat your stories 5 times a day... I think she heard you 😭

*Forget special occasions

*Mention weight 😵‍💫🤦🏽‍♀️⚔️☠️

*say ‘I love you’ without meaning it. And if you do mean it, say it sparingly, and show it often 🙏 means more this way.

*Steal all her pens. Annoying.

*Use baby talk too much, if at all 👀😵‍💫

*Sit on her lap. I mean you can, but... yeah 🤔

*Play her your bad music that you wrote 🥲

*Steal her food 🐻

*Hog the covers ⚔️

*Steal all her left socks ❓

*Call her bro too much

*Go to bed mad at each other

*cheat 😅

*No hitting, biting of scratching – unless thats what you’re into 🤙

*Call her baby (inspired by nostr:npub1y67n93njx27lzmg9ua37ce7csvq4awvl6ynfqffzfssvdn7mq9vqlhq62h) babe is cute though 🥹

*Check her phone. Mutual trust is sexy 😉

*Be mean to get her attention 😭 negging sucks. Banter is cool though 😎

*Open her eyelids when she sleeps 👀

*Open the door for her, then stop her walking in first 😭 whyyy

*kiss her neck when you aren’t even dating 😵‍💫😖🙅🏽‍♀️

*if she’s not reciprocating, DO NOT GO IN FOR THE KISS. Abort, abort, abort! Trust me 🙏

*Be majorly egotistic/arrogant 👎 (inspired by the lovely nostr:npub1suwxj6qxnts2ls8jr0lpjy95386kr9y5ckn7qep5c95063wcj5eqh4rlxf (who I should also add is none of those things💜))

*Carry a list of past partners around to show dates 😅 (inspired by a nostrich, he knows who he is🙏🤣)

*Lie 👎 but don’t be brutally honest 😭 I dunno, there must be a middle ground, surely

Well, I've clearly got far too much time this Sunday so I'm going to go do some work 😭🥹💜🤙