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i'm really glad that worked out positively for you.

with 50% of american marriages ending in divorce (which means more than 50% are unhappy as some ppl power through a loveless marriage), having children isn't a good defacto default for everyone.

i'd argue many of the issues in today's society are from loveless marriages, high divorce rate, and high one parent raising a child households.

we often think that because something worked out well for us, it must translate for others as well. that simply doesn't take into account the myriad combinations/permutations of any two people and the family they may start.

not saying getting married or having children is a bad idea, in fact, i can easily see how it could raise one's happiness level. however, the math says that doesn't happen for most people (the marriage front specifically, the children may be different)

HODL 5mo ago

You’ll notice I didn’t use the word happiness in my post above.

So you’re arguing with something I didn’t say number 1.

Number 2, the oft quoted 50% statistic is skewed high by serial divorcees (people on their 5th marriage). First marriages have about a 65% chance of working out. Divorce rates are also declining. The majority of modern, stable marriages last.

Number 3, Longitudinal studies from Harvard, Stanford, and Pew show married people report greater life satisfaction, physical health, and emotional well-being compared to their single peers.

Number 4, Marriage and family aren’t broken, our culture is.

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Discussion

Jay 5mo ago

All true 👌🏽

The Stacker Monster 5mo ago

Number 1)

This is a quote from you:

"Your life will be more vast, more meaningful, more fulfilling, and more joyful with a family."

Joyful is pretty darn close to happy. But we can nit-pik semantics if you'd like, I'll say that the general gist of my interpretation of what you said is accurate.

Number 2)

Ok, I'll grant you that this puts your first marriage divorce chances at 35%. Hopefully you can also grant me that many people stay in unhappy marriages. Perhaps that gets us closer to the 50% rate I stated.

Number 3)

Those same places probably have studies saying the covid vaccine is safe and effective. I assume you don't care when people quote the experts on things you don't agree with?

Number 4)

Marriage is a societal construct (and a man-made legal contract). It is a fools errand to parse society from marriage or marriage from society. These two things have some type of relationship that point back and forth at each other.

protozoan numbness 5mo ago

At least they introduced some nuance to your one sided take.

WildBill 5mo ago

Marriage is a construct created by God. Meant emulate Christ and his Church. These are its roots. It’s not a tax break. This is what nostr:nprofile1qqsp4lsvwn3aw7zwh2f6tcl6249xa6cpj2x3yuu6azaysvncdqywxmgpzfmhxue69uhk7enxvd5xz6tw9ec82cspp4mhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mqjwuwjm is getting at, I believe. That marriage construct is still being fulfilled by sinful and broken people, but if you’ll die to yourself, realize life is more than just about you, if you get out of your own way, there’s real life to be had. You’ll obtain that for yourself, your spouse, and you’ll demonstrate and teach it to your offspring. There’s nothing like it. Bitcoin makes this perspective so much easier to wrestle with when Dad works 1 job, mom stays home and raises the kids, and there’s time at the end of the day to enjoy one another and the community.

David in TN 5mo ago

in short, life is more fulfilling when you sacrifice for others and love others and stop focusing just on yourself.