Discussion
Didn't we evolve over thousands of years where men hunted together in nomadic tribes where trust and reliability was essential for the cooperative success of the hunt? Being highly emotional and expressive of inner feelings at random or inappropriate times probably got others killed. These patterns established over millennia aren't something you break on a Sunday over a cup of tea and a biscuit.
Men are not robots. they are full humans.
Are you suggesting that men need to be robots to be good hunters? We have this weird obsession in our culture with thinking that emotion and logic are incompatible things. That is tragically inaccurate.
There is a line from an episode of Star Trek that I love "Emotional considerations to no impede my logic, they inform my logic." Feelings are simply messages from your subconscious, it is very unwise to suppress or ignore them.
It is extremely unwise to indulge in emotion in many moments in your life requiring your full cognitive abilities and focus.
There is a lot packed into that statement. What it does not acknowledge is the act of voluntary emotional crippling, or the ability to turn on or off the emotional guidance system at will in order “to do right thing” (specific to individuals). It really is a superpower and it is the following stage to dismantling and replacing certain patriarchal narratives with upgrades. 🙂
Emotional suppression is a survival technique. Probably most of us will encounter moments when shutting down emotionally is the best option. But if you don't repair that, if you don't later get to safety and allow yourself to feel what you feel, then you will pay the price for that. Repressed emotions show up in all sorts of ways, mental health issues, anger outbursts, chronic illnesses, etc.
Totally agree.
I was attempting to highlight the skill of cycling in and out of emotional suppression, at will. It is “a place” that someone can find themselves that is beyond the need for repair. It is part of a skill set. I know some people can find themselves stuck, but there really is a space beyond this that men in particular can learn to occupy. It hardly gets talked about. Emotional throttling is a learned skill. People can choose the depth of emotion needed to navigate their version of success. To be clear, permanent suppression with no examination can lead to trouble, but I am attempting to point towards a different success scenario. Cheers.
For sure. when in an intense conversation, in a big meeting, running for your life from an attacker, disassociating during an assault, etc. Being able to turn it off can be super handy.
"there really is a space beyond this that men in particular can learn to occupy" why men in particular?
Because your original post was focusing on men’s emotional “health” and I was trying to acknowledge that sentiment. It is of course clearly a universally accessible space.